1 Have Faith in Your Divinity
The granddaddy of all, having
great faith that you are divinely divine tops the list of I-Love-Me's!
It's not narcissism or arrogance, mind you. Trust and faith in your
inner great Self is about having the courage to show the world who you
are, knowing what you want (not what your boyfriend, dead granduncle who
had funded your education or domineering mother wants) and then picking
a path that takes you to what you want.
2 Give and Receive
We
all know the beauty of giving love (this could be expressed as a kind
compliment, a thoughtful gift or even a hug/smile/kiss) but have you
mastered receiving it? Being loving to your Self means knowing how to
receive from others. When you graciously say thank you when someone
treats you to dinner, not only are you telling your Self that you are
worth all the free dinners in the world, you are also telling the other
person that she is loving and capable of sharing her dinners with
others. It's actually selfish not to receive, because you would be
denying the other person an opportunity to give. In other words, don't
hoard all the spiritual brownie points (even though they are unlimited) -
let others get some too!
3 Identifying With Your Inner Qualities
What
are the finer qualities that you like about yourself? Your compassion?
Your sense of humor? Or maybe your ability to read twinkles in people's
eyes? Pick one. Then, spend some time with it. Reflect on it, ponder on
it, marvel at it. Make it your personal masterpiece and identify it as
truly part of you. Self love is acknowledging the gems that are already
in you.
4 Value Your Time, Energy and Love
Be willing to say
"no". Where we learn to say yes to love, we can also learn to say no to
things that don't feel comfortable. Remember that your time, energy and
love is sacred. Anytime you feel you 'have' to give something to
someone, whether it's staying longer at a party (even though you are
bored silly) because you don't want to offend your friend, or feeling
obliged to help someone build a cabinet (even when you are dead tired
that day), you are really telling your inner Self that: "my needs are
not as important as others'." When you decide to give, share or help
others, choose to do that out of deep willingness and sincerity.
Whenever giving becomes an obligation, it's not sincere anymore, and at
times you'd end up building resentment.
5 Humility
Humility
has nothing to do with lack of self-confidence or being a doormat. Being
humble is saying to yourself and other people that you are willing to
listen and learn from others. Whenever you are willing to let down your
guard and release the need to defend your point of view, you are
actually strengthening your faith in your beliefs. It's a sign of
confidence and great trust that who you are and what you believe in
aren't so easily rattled by other people's remarks and opinions.
6 Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
Each
time you think you are worse off or better than someone, you are not
only judging them, you are also being your Self's unforgiving critic.
Why? Because when you judge others, you are conditionally accepting them
based on a list of criteria. This reflects back on how you treat
yourself as well. By measuring people based on your ideas of 'good' and
'bad', you are also sending a message back to your subconscious saying
that you need a set of conditions to love your Self. Also, you may begin
to build your self worth based on what people think of you. Here, you
are solidifying your limited perception that you need validation from
the world to be OK. However, when you accept the people as they are
without wanting to control or change them, you are also accepting
yourself in the same way.
7 Step Out of the Guilt Game
Choose
to let go of relationships which use guilt as a manipulation tool.
Guilt-based situations are power games where people use that emotion to
control another. Think of guilt as a remote control. But the good news
is you can take away the batteries and withdraw yourself from whatever
drama that is being played. Control games like these can only be
sustained if there are two people playing. Like chess, it's no fun
without an opponent. So if you choose time-out from wanting to control
another person and make them do things your way (and vice versa), game's
over. When the dramas are over, self-empowerment begins as you begin to
discover that you do have choice to step out of situations that do not
contribute to your growth.
8 Create a Loving Reality of the World You Are In
You
can't change the world, but you can create a new paradigm of your
world. When it comes to loving your Self, it's important to create an
environment which supports your image of self love. But instead of
waiting for things around you to change, or to try to change everyone
(this is all a futile effort anyway), start by changing how you see the
world first. For instance, an environment for loving your Self is having
considerate people around you. However, you find that you keep meeting
selfish folks who wouldn't give two cents about you. To change the
situation, it usually is as simple affirming to yourself that 'everyone
is considerate', and believing it. What usually happens next is you
would start paying attention to considerate people who cross your path;
so in turn you would keep 'meeting' them. It's really a matter of
switching your attention. But, if on the flipside, you keep telling
yourself that 'everyone is a jerk and out to get you,' that's also what
you would start putting your attention to, and of course, who you'd
start attracting into your life too.
9 Forgive
Forgiveness
isn't really about pardoning another but a process of releasing your
negative feelings towards people whom you feel have done you wrong. For
example let's say you are angry at someone because she had ruined your
pair of Manolo Blahniks. By forgiving her you are not really approving
or saying OK to what she did. You are merely letting go of your anger
towards her. And this is powerful stuff because as soon as you are
willing to let go of feeling angry at her, it lifts a chunk load of
burden off you. Self love is about releasing bad feelings that aren't
healthy for your soul.
10 Laugh and Play!
Finally, the
greatest self-love booster: fun! Being able to enjoy yourself at any
moment, filling your time with laughter and fun is the best kind of
comfort you can give to yourself. When you laugh with joy, it's a
powerful affirmation to your mind, body and soul that you appreciate
being alive.
Lily Wong is a daytime magazine editor, night-time spiritual
blogger and lifetime soul seeker. Devoting her heart and soul to Self
growth, she's goes where her inner Self takes her. You can find this
article and
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