The task before us then is to become aware of the background beliefs and affirmations we're running, challenge their validity for us today and if they no longer serve our well-being, eliminate and replace them with positive thought patterns that will help us make our goals. Many of the goals women have in today's society are still a challenge to achieve - even thought the women's liberation movement is now several decades along, women still face the pressures of discrimination, balancing home and career, and a workplace environment still skewed to favor our complimentary sex. So, to give ourselves the best possible advantage on our paths to accomplishment, we must take the time to tailor our mental/emotional/spiritual disciplines to suit our needs and not the perceptions of society - the difference between practicing generalized positive affirmations from a list you find on the internet and customized, positive affirmations for women designed by yourself for your unique situation, is that by customizing your affirmations you are actively taking responsibility for the results you get and addressing the issues that have created scarcity or pain of some nature - you are reclaiming your power from what you decided had authority over you.
You can take action right now to get the results you consciously desire in any area of your life by applying the following key points to produce effective, measurable results in your daily affirmation practices:
1. Be persistent and be consistent. According to many surveys taken of participants of self-improvement programs, when citing a lack of success in achieving their goals, they also admitted to a lack of consistent practice. This simple key is fundamental to success - considering how many years we spend on developing, refining and polishing our beliefs and assumptions about what we can't do, is it really logical to assume that a reversal of perception is going to occur after 4 or 5 attempts? No; so please, when trying to change a habit or develop more esteem or land the perfect job, give it some time and attention. Research tells us it takes 21 - 28 days to develop a new habit, so give your goals and affirmations a minimum of 21 days before deciding on its effectiveness.
If at first your affirmations feel awkward, forced or phony - that's good! Any feelings of discomfort means that you're stepping out of your comfort zone (fear), you're creating inner change and ruffling the feathers of your ego self, who wants to keep you safe. Safety to the ego self is maintaining the status quo - no changes allowed. So please appreciate what's really happening and use it as fuel to gain momentum; you can use the feelings and thoughts about your discomfort to create a new, empowering affirmation for yourself! The discomfort will dissolve once you get into a daily rhythm and develop some confidence.
2. Do it anyways. At the beginning of your exercises, don't worry about whether you believe your affirmations or not, the effectiveness is in the repetition. Belief in your statements will develop as a result of the repetition and meaning you give your affirmations, so choose wisely. Any resistance that you experience, including thoughts about what nonsense all this new age stuff is, are excuses to keep you safe and free from change. Resistance is also an opportunity for you to break out of the conditioned responses of the past - try being open and see the opportunity in learning something new about yourself; you may be pleasantly surprised at what you discover inside!
3. Get clear and get motivated. The clearer your visions and the greater the motivation, the better your chances will be of success in achieving your goals. Get all the components of your ideal life down on paper and be bold in your dreams - amass a mountain of reasons about why you must accomplish your goals; write down all of what it will cost you if you don't pursue your vision and all the joy that will result from their achievement. Put your goals and reasons in point form on a 3" x 5" recipe card and read it often; before bed, upon waking and throughout the day. Create affirmations that show these goals and capture the zest of your motivations, and move yourself towards your goals with a plan to realize it. Take any and all action that you think will take you a step closer to what you desire.
And let go of "how" it's going to happen; that's out of your jurisdiction so don't waste any time fretting, worrying or stewing about "how" or "what if" - your Higher Power has your back so learn to trust, go with the flow and enjoy the ride!
4. Challenge old beliefs. A great deal of the beliefs we have that cause our issues of low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and helplessness are the results of our early childhood interactions with our parents - beliefs we developed as a five-year old may have been effective at keeping us safe and secure as small children, but that same belief held by an adult can result in a lack of confidence or responsibility for our own happiness, to ask for what we want or be able to say no to others. Unattended, out-worn beliefs that hang around long after their expiry date are responsible for enormous pain and regret; learn to identify them and weed them out of your mind to make room for new, empowering one.
For women, challenging some of the old cultural/tribal beliefs is particularly revealing and empowering as it affects change not only within ourselves, but also has a trickle down effect for new generations. As we challenge, release and replace old limiting beliefs about the roles women were historically assigned to play, we live and teach the new beliefs to those that come after us. For example, a tribal belief within my family and heritage was that the men were the breadwinners and the women were the housekeepers... for a woman to be happy, she had to find and marry "a good man" who would provide her with security, a nice home and a certain level of comfort; and in exchange, she would raise the kids, cook, clean and manage the household. This formula is great if that's what you want; however, in this family, a lesbian career woman with no interest in raising children would experience a certain amount of conflict between the traditional family beliefs and her personal desires.
The payoff in challenging old beliefs is that we discover that it is our power of decision that liberates us from the restrictions of the past and it is our power of decision now that creates a new future to our liking. And limiting beliefs about traditional feminine roles contain great material for creating positive affirmations for women to work with in manifesting the results they desire - usually, what we desire is pretty much the opposite of the belief we want to drop, so use the old belief and reword it for the positive outcome you desire.
Once we've established that certain customs and beliefs are no longer valid, we can release them and all of the influence they have on our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and consciously choose what we believe to be true for us now. Once released, we can now also give the events of the past a new meaning and choose to see any and all conditions as being for our benefit, including the added dimension of defining new roles for women in the 21st century.
5. Affirm as if it's already done. The reason for this is because our subconscious mind doesn't understand the concept of time - to the subconscious, everything is now, there is no "later" or "yesterday". Be bold, be simple and be clear with your wording; always affirm using positive words in the present tense (not future tense). I.e. "I am now speaking with power and confidence in the office meetings." contains the result of what you're striving for versus "I will learn to speak with power and confidence in the office meetings." The second example is unclear as it leaves the outcome in the future and dilutes the goal to learning to speak up.
The second advantage to affirming as if the outcome has already been achieved is because it makes it easier to emotionally connect with your goals, and emotionally charging your affirmations is the secret ingredient to outstanding results. This might be a bit of a challenge initially, particularly if you find yourself feeling any discomfort as outlined in point #1, or if you've shut yourself down from experiencing strong emotion, but it will really super-charge your results if you can immerse yourself in the feelings, emotions and sensations of the results you want contained in your affirmations. Simple repetition is effective in itself, but the added element of powerful, strong and positive emotion will speed up your results considerably. Don't worry if your feelings don't seem authentic, keep at it, be persistent and you'll enjoy the sweet rewards of your faith and perseverance.
When practicing positive affirmations, for women or within any distinct group, being aware of the customary or habitual roles we've identified with in that group will help us to free ourselves from the restrictions of those roles and aid us in re-defining ourselves to better express and enjoy who we are in truth. Applying the 5 key points of being persistent and consistent to give ourselves the best chance at success; of having faith in your vision by doing it even when you feel uncomfortable because you understand positive change is taking place; of being crystal clear about your goals and amassing mountains of reasons to keep you on course and propel yourself through the tough times; of courageously challenging outworn and outdated beliefs that hold us back and reclaiming our power from them; and affirming as though your goal is a done deal to give your dreams emotional fuel and vitality will give your affirmations weight and authority to power yourself into a future of your own deliberate creation. No one else will do this for you, and taking command of your thoughts, visions and emotions is a potent gift to yourself - enjoy your new powerful and positive results!
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Lorna M. Atkinson is a writer and advocate of reclaiming personal power through the alignment of personality and soul and is dedicated to freeing the mind from limitations learned in the past.
Lorna M. Atkinson is a writer and advocate of reclaiming personal power through the alignment of personality and soul and is dedicated to freeing the mind from limitations learned in the past.
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